:o)

My 30-Minutes EnergizZer :o)

2011-05-29T09:26:00.001+10:00

I have several Jillian Michael's workout DVDs, so I have a variety to choose from. Today - Ripped in 30, Level 1, because it's Sunday and I don't want to die :o))

music - Vabank Soundtrack
1. Regtime Vabank
2. Jeszcze Raz Vabank Instrument

Finding The Future By Looking Back

2011-05-28T12:09:00.001+10:00

It's my official Day 15. This means that almost the sixth part of my journey is behind me. I think it's a good time to rewind and recap.

What worked for me?

When it comes to learning (and this challenge is very educational process for me) I'm a mixed type of a learner. That's why I find it helpful to not just write down my ideas, thoughts, but to have some kind of visualization, so Wheels Of Life helped me to identify the areas of my life, which are important for me, set priorities and define goals. I printed out both Wheels (unbalanced and balanced) and put them on the central place in our apartment, which is happened to be refrigerator. So, each time I walk by or just look at the Wheels I remember my Mission, Vision and it's easier for me to move on.

Weekly Good Habits Card definitely worked for me. Yeah there was some confusion with perfectionistic desire to get more stars, which led me to a feeling of failure each time I got no-sign, but I was able to become aware of this and think my way around such self-destructive attitudes and behavior.

What didn't work?

Idea with vlogs. I'm stressing to much about it at the moment, so I think I will NOT make vlogs each 10 days as I supposed to do.

Everyday blogs. The further I move on my journey the clearer it becomes to me that writing blog at the end of each day is not a very good idea. Why? Because I'm tired, first of all, and it's difficult to concentrate, especially when it comes to thinking-writing in foreign language. The following week I'll write blogs in the mornings about previous days and see how it goes. If it works for me, then I'll stick with this strategy. If not, then I just review my idea with EVERYday blogs to more hasteless - each week or each 10-15 days.

Yes, I remember my goal to improve English through blogging and vlogging, but if it brings more stress than the results then it's better to find another way of practicing English (and I know there are heaps of ways). After all, my day to day blogs may consist just from my gratitude journal (which is already a good English practice in itself) and good habits card (which will track my progress) and each week or so I could write more thorough posts. Yeah, I think it's a great idea!

Since Saturday is in full swing and is not over yet

I haven't finished my FlyLady routines and

I still have time to apply for a job, so I left these cells empty

This may sound silly, but today my partner EVENTUALLY got rid of the old washing machine, which we've got from a friend of ours when we just arrived in Australia. This machine stopped working properly year ago (which is not surprising, considering the age of this machine) and just took place in our storage room. I asked him to call our friend, resolve this situation and free up storage space, but it didn't happen until today! Yay! I'm so glad! And I'm so grateful! Sometimes it's just such simple things, which make me happy and grateful. :o)

Transformation isn’t a future event, it’s a present activity.

2011-05-26T23:06:00.000+10:00

I missed the 10th day. And 11th. And 12th. I do not have excuses. I just didn't do what I should have done.

I was full of negative inner self-talk these days: "I don't do this. I should've done that. I shouldn't do this. I wish I was that." And so on, and so on and so on… And then I opened my OneNote, where I keep and organize my blog posts, drafts and notes, and looked at the Notebook which I made for this 100-Day Challenge.

Yes, that's what I absolutely forgot to do - MAKE it FUN!

I put all these new responsibilities, promises and expectations on myself absolutely forgetting about having fun during the process! So at the end of the day, when I put stars and no-signs in my Weekly Habit Card, of course I felt disappointed and broken! Journey for a change turned into another freaking craving for perfectionism and approval (even if it's just a little electronic star shape). And every time I didn't do what I should have done and every no-sign instead of star made me feel like a failure… until... I remembered a great Henry Ford's words: "Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently." There IS opportunity in every crisis, there IS wisdom in every failure, so just take all these negativity and MAKE IT FUN.

So let's look at my Weekly Good Habits Cards and reflect on them.

Here's week 1:

I made mistake in the Date section, actually it was week from 16.05.2011 till 22.05.2011.

And here's week 2, which is current week and now these dates are correct:

So, actually I'm MAKING it for one week only and I do not have to be perfect! I just have to do the best I can, take responsibility for the actions I take or do not take and MAKE IT EVERYDAY. Knowledge without practice is useless!

I'm pretty good at FlyLady's part because it is habitual for me to keep my home clean and organized. It makes me feel better, that's why I enjoy doing it EVERY day.

English blog also gives me lots of fun. I like to write. Especially, I like to write about my insights and inspirations. As I decided to connect my gratitude journal to blog it was easy for me to do it each time I wrote a new post. And it was easy for me to forget about it, when I didn't write a blog. So the trick for me here is to turn that what I perceive as failure into insight, inspiration and wisdom! I didn't write for three days not because I was lazy. I had HEAPS of thoughts and ideas in my head, but most of them were negative. And I didn't want to multiply my inner negativity with outer negativity - it didn't feel better at all. Sometimes it works to write down all the negative thoughts and feelings which I have inside, but not that time. All I have to do in such situations is to turn them into wisdom, which will help me in the future - find a better feeling thought. :o)

My healthy regimen is a matter of time and EVERYDAY PRACTICE. And when I sleep at night and wake up in the morning, it is natural for me to exercise for 30 minutes. So I just take my time and do my best to go to bed at decent hour EVERY day. That's all what it takes!

And least but not last - job search. I'm a big girl, so I know that the longer I postpone this process the longer it takes to eventually find a dream job. I do not have to do it, but if I want to find a job that's the minimum required to find a job - apply for at least one position every day. Welcome to the real world, baby! :o) So the choice is mine as well as consequences of my choice. And the days when I do NOTHING about it, I get NOTHING. Yes, there are some days when I don’t feel like doing it (and sometimes I don’t want it at all), but I guess if I wait until I am in the mood for applying or even searching for job, well, it may take weeks if not months and everybody get the picture. The point is I don’t have to feel like doing it, I have to Just Focus and Do It!!!

I think that appreciation of myself is important part of appreciating others. So today I want to really appreciate myself, because I often overlook all the good things I've done and qualities I have.

I'm really grateful for the ability to escape myself from a swamp of desperation by pulling myself up (just like Baron Munchausen). I appreciate my courage to dig, dip and dive deep into my own and others inner world.

Since my childhood even if I tried to do bad things I immediately felt the power of my negativity forced on others, so I'm not doing or thinking anything out of spite, because it just feels bad. Probably for the same reason I do not kill mosquitoes, flies or roaches - it may sound stupid, but I appreciate myself for NOT killing these small creatures.

I'm a creative person and at the same time pretty practical - so this is another point to appreciate myself. I'm not just sitting and dreaming or talking about Law Of Attraction and all that stuff waiting for the miracles to occur, I'm aiming, aligning, acting and achieving. I can be really determined if I'm focused. And I'm focused when I know exactly what I want. And when I'm confused and do not know what I want I do my job to find it out - and everything becomes clear.

Transformation isn’t a future event, it’s a present activity.

And the Wheel Turns...

2011-05-23T04:26:00.002+10:00

As I wrote, after spending a whole Friday-Saturday night awake I slept only two hours in the Saturday afternoon and was going to eventually step into normal regimen.

So was I successful? I did it but haven't accomplished it. :o)

I actually went to bed at 2AM. It means NOT Saturday but officially Sunday, but it's better than spending a whole night awake anyway. Despite the fact that I was really tired I still couldn't fall asleep for an hour or so. Eventually I fell asleep but I should have put my alarm on, because I slept for 12 hours and woke up in the afternoon and that means that I'm not sleepy AGAIN when I should be.

It's officially Monday here, my 10th day of CCOR, but I just started to write my blog for 9th day. My life is a mess! I can't sleep at night, I can't keep awake during the day and, to be honest, I'm tired to think about it every time I see that it's 2AM and I'm still awake.

I was beating myself up, going into self-blaming cycles, I even wanted to cry a couple of times but then I thought to myself: "Well, it took time for me to have such lifestyle. In the beginning I went to bed at 00:00, then at 2AM, then a bit later and even later than later, so here I am - not sleeping during the night and barely functioning during the day. I should give myself some time. Do what I've already done. If I go to bed at 5AM I just should set alarm for 8AM so I have mornings and days. If I feel drowsy in the afternoon then I can nap for and hour or so, but no longer than that. If I'm sleepy early in the evening (and here I mean REALLY early, 5-6PM for example) then I just DON'T go to bed, I wait or do something for 2-3 hours (take shower, make a mask or listen to audiobook) and then go and have a normal night sleep. Eventually I'll get there." And as I said it to myself I started to feel calmer. And despite my crazy regimen I keep our house clean and organized, I cook tasty food and do other stuff that stay-at-home-people usually supposed to do. :o) So I'm a good girl! :o)) All I need is time and I HAVE it. :o)

So this will be a short blog, since today (already!!!) I have to do my video and I have to be prepared for it - write my speech and look like a celebrity :o)))

Amazing! I write this gratitude journal only for 3 days but I ALREADY feel and see the results. In day to day situations it's much easier for me to focus on positive sides instead of criticizing what I don't like and don't want. It's working! It's helping me A LOT! At Saturday-Sunday night I had a conversation with my partner before going to bed. It was conversation about our relationships and our life together. I usually get emotional during such conversations and often raise my voice. That time I managed to talk in respectful way and at the same time express my feelings and emotions. It wasn't anger management or emotions control, not at all! It all happened because of my different attitude, which changed my perception and behavour. I was able to look at the person and think of things which I'm already grateful for. And then I tried to find something I can also be grateful for in our conversation. And I FOUND! And it helped me to express myself and at the same time not to shout :o)

So what's that little magic thing that I found and that helped me? It is appreciation for my partner's beliefs.

My partner may also be emotional not in the way of raising voice but in a way of saying words he doesn't really mean to. Before I got really frustrated when one day I heard one words from him and the next day absolutely opposite. But yesterday I realized that his "changing" attitude is his way to say "I'm sorry", it is his way to say "I still love and need you". And I'm really grateful for that! Because it's all I need - to be loved and needed. :o)

Another thing to be grateful for is the questions my partner asks me regularly - they really make me think and re-evaluate my own belief system.

Balancing the Wheel of Life: Job & Career + Finances

2011-05-21T18:42:00.000+10:00

As one good habit leads to another so one "broken habit" often breaks others. Recently I've been giving myself a hard times. I didn't sleep at night because I "didn't want to". Then I had to sleep during the day, but since I have routines I have to do or I promised myself to do I can't sleep full 6-8 hours, so I slept less amount of hours which made me less energetic, less enthusiastic and almost dysfunctional.

It's always small and simple things that get in a way! Or it would be better to say that I put these things on my way. And then stumble! And fall…

So today I decided to do this "favor" for myself the last and only time and get over with it once and forever! So, yeah, I didn't sleep the whole night. Don't ask me what I have been doing!!! :o) Then morning came and I had to do my FlyLady routines - laundry and so on, then it was lunch time and then… when I had a break and I wasn't hungry - I felt SO tired but at the same time SO comfortably-zombie that I decided to take a nap. "BUT I STILL HAVE THINGS TO DO" - cried the last piece of Responsible-And-Committed-Me. But my inner zombie didn't want to focus on anything, so I took a nap. BUT I turn on the alarm and It woke me up after 2 hours, which I think is reasonable time to refresh but not have a FULL amount of rest.

So here I am typing this blog post without any of my Weekly Good Habits fully accomplished. But I survive! ;o) By the time I finish this post, two of them will be done, I can't fix healthy sleep habit, but I am able to go to bed today at a decent hour and my 30-minutes energizZer for today will be done right after I post this blog (I've been invited to a home party, so instead of catching a tram or taxi I'll walk and it will take exactly 30 minutes)

Ok! Let's get to the business. Career anf Finances. Money and Job.

I will not go into the detail in this blog since I do not feel comfortable writing about my dream job or amount of money I want to earn in public, but I have the idea and it is WRITTEN in DETAILS.

Generally, by the end of Season One I see myself employed in the industry I want to be employed and earning money I set for myself as a goal to earn.

And in order to get there I will send ONE JOB APPLICATION EACH BUSINESS DAY. I can send more or do it on weekends if I'm excited but I can't have excuses during business days. I can't afford it! It's like wanting to get from Moscow to St.Petersburg and turning back on half way through each time I drive from Moscow to St.Petersburg! NO U TURNS! :o)

And today I really appreciate my Partner for supporting me on my Journey. Probably he's not APPROVING me the way I wish, but I can feel SUPPORT in his attitude and deeds. He's NOT joking or saying to me that all these challenges are just crazy ideas - and it means a lot to me. He tries to follow the rules I set for myself and not even ask him to follow! For example, making a bed is a part of my morning routine, but since I haven't sleep the whole night today, when I came into our bedroom in the morning to make the bed after my partner woke up all I saw there was a perfectly made bed! The same thing with dirty dishes which he could just leave in the sink, but he knows that it's important for me, he sees my post-its and the way I clean it everyday, so he follows me :o) And it makes my household routines SO MUCH easier! I'm really grateful for that.

Balancing the Wheel of Life: Relationships + Family & Friends

2011-05-21T00:21:00.001+10:00

Surprisingly, as much inspiration I had in the previous two days when I wrote about the pleasant aspects of my life, exactly as much inspiration I lack today when I start to write about areas which gave rise to the beginning of this Challenge.

Relationships… I even do not know what exactly I want! And if I think I know then I'm not sure that this desire won't disappear tomorrow! Argh!!!

Ok… Let's start with general things which, I suppose, common for most people.

Why relationships? I mean, why do I need and want them?

Well, because despite the fact that I love and appreciate my personal space I really like to be with someone. I love to care and be cared of. I love when I have someone to talk to or to watch movies with, I even manage to enjoy arguments! :o) Sometimes I really need somebody to project my "dark sides" and sometimes I'm ready to be such mirror of projections for the person I love. It is said that the need for love and belonging one of the fundamental needs in human beings… Well, I'm a human, I'm young woman and I want to belong and be loved as well as I want to love and have someone to complete me. It's all that simple ;o) But it's all so hard to put into words ;o)

If "why" of relationships is quite common for most of us, HOW is much more specific for each individual. So the next question is - How do I want the relationships to evolve?

...I'm just stuck here… I've already procrastinated for 15 minutes, reading quotes, watching videos, drinking tea and throwing away garbage… All I can think about is just "things", "stuff" - to have a baby for example… But IT IS NOT directly about the relationships! Weddings, children and all that jazz are only fruits of well-planted seed of Relationships! This is a consequence and I need to feel my way to seed itself.

So, what do I want to plant? I want to plant LOVE :o)

And love for me means that when I see something beautiful in other person I start cultivating it in myself instead of feeling bad about not having it. Because I have it! If I see it - I have it!

And love for me means that when I see something dreadful in other person I realize that it is also part of me instead of denying to see in myself that I don't want to see in others. Because I already have it! If I see it - I have it!

And love for me means courage to take several breaths instead of spitting out the immediate reaction. And to see that I Am That… person, quality, beauty, dread.

I Am Every Thing and Every One :o)

But in order to plant I must have this seed. How to find it?

I've heard a lot about appreciation and gratitude… How these feelings help when it seems that everything goes wrong and only ruins are left from relationships. I'm lucky enough to have relationships, so I just want to find the seed of love which I've lost, that's why this time I'll try to DO such gratitude journal here in my blog! At the end of each post I just write something related to my partner or relationships I have for what I'm grateful. Just that simple! :o)

And to start with: I am grateful that I met my partner. I'm grateful that we moved to Australia (I'm not sure if I could ever done or even thought about it without my Partner). And I'm really grateful for his patience.

Balancing the Wheel of Life: Physical Environment + Personal and Spiritual Development

2011-05-19T22:19:00.000+10:00

We all heard about Inner Peace Through Outer Order. We all know billion secrets, different hints and tips and various how-to. The thing is that rarely we follow the rules and put the knowledge into practice in our day-to-day life. Knowledge without practice is useless! :o)

I already wrote about these areas of my life, so the main focus during 100-Day Co-Creation Challenge will be on maintaining my inner and outer environment in a balanced and harmonized way.

How?

Physical Environment

- following my FlyLady System. I won't go into details here since this blog is not about FlyLady system, but I'll come up with some idea for this blog that will allow me to keep track on my daily FlyLady Steps . What's the result? Organised household activities and... ZERO stress about ironing :o)))

Personal and Spiritual Development

- since the word "development" is fundamental in this case I need some kind of daily practice which is interesting and effort-consuming at the same time - like this blog for example! It would be MUCH easier for me to write it in Russian, but I want to improve my English, so I decided to do it in English. Vlogs, which I'll be making every 10 days, would also contribute to my development.

And here's the idea that will allow me to keep track on my steps to Balanced Life :o) It's just a simple table which I made in Excel and it works for me. Every evening I will make a screenshot and post it in my blog.

And that's it for today :o)

Balancing the Wheel of Life: Health + Fun & Recreation

2011-05-19T00:27:00.001+10:00

I want to start with Health, Fun & Recreation since these dimensions of my life will not be subject to strong changes in the next 95 days. All I want to do is to change my perception of the norm and the concept of the norm of those aspects of my life.

What am I already doing?

I'm playing tennis twice a week (or 2.5 hours a week, one 1.5-hour class and one 1-hour class).

I'm going to chiropractor to maintain my body in good condition.

I cook food instead of buying junk take-aways. Since my heritage is Russian my diet involves porridges, salads, soups - I like variety, not just sandwiches and fish-&-chips, YKWIM ;o)

I do not drink soft drinks and alcohol.

I do not smoke.

I do not take antidepressants or other drugs, so my balance is maintained naturally.

What I want to become a norm for me?

I have a healthy day regimen, it means that I sleep at night!;o) And I get enough sleep (7-8 hours) EVERYday. I want it because I need more energy for all changes I'm going to make. Another reason for the right regimen is that it's winter time now in the southern hemisphere and days are short, so I want to see and feel more sun, but the longer I sleep the less sun I see. So sleeping at night and experiencing the sun during the day!

I'm playing tennis twice a week and IN ADDITION to that I'm having 30-minutes activity EVERYday. It may be workout, jogging, cycling or even just walking. I feel that it is important for me to move since I usually feel better after it. Moreover, while I spend most of my time at home (while searching for a job, but later about it) it will bring some kind of variety in my life which is energizing as well.

Enough sleep = enough energy.

Enough movement = enough energy.

The perfectionist in me wants to plan, write and do 100 other things for my Health, Fun & Recreation, but I will stop here to have a good night sleep and be energised for tomorrows changes! :o)

My Wheels of Life

2011-05-17T22:27:00.001+10:00

I don't know much about others, but I usually want changes in any area of my life when I find this area out of balance (according to my own inner-guidance system and understanding of balanced life).

So, this is how I perceive my Wheel of Life at the moment:

I live in a comfortable apartment in a beautiful city surrounded by amazing nature. The CBD is 10-15 minutes walk from the place I live, Ocean is 20 minutes ride away and in less than an hour I can be in one of the oldest National Parks on the planet Earth. I have the furniture I've chosen, all appliances work perfectly and our apartment is sunny and welcoming every time of a day and every season of the year. I feel at home in my apartment. I feel at home in the city I live. I feel indescribable rush of appreciation every time I look around and see everything I can see. Yes, I would like to live in a bigger apartment and have ability to adopt a dog from the pound (we are not allowed to do it according to our contract now) and I shall do it as soon as I'm financially stable. So it's all up to me, my choices and deeds!

I'm in a pretty good health. I have both legs and both hands, my ears work perfectly, I can smell fragrances and taste food, my skin is pretty healthy (unless I start eating crap and be anxious about every little thing :o)), my vision is not so perfect but I'm focusing on the best I have - at least I can see and it means a lot to me! My immunity system protects me very well so I rarely get sick and I have to be in a bad mood for a really long time to catch a cold or something. Yes, I would like to be more energized and toned, but it all depends on me and I can see no other obstacles except myself and my laziness.

Self-development is what I'm focused on mostly at the time: I read a lot, research a lot, think a lot, write notes a lot, observe a lot, reflect a lot. I learn every day. Another point is that I rarely have someone to share with, but it's all about me being in warm and cozy comfort zone or stretching myself beyond it and grow. One of the reasons why I started this 100 Day Journey is that I want to improve my English language skills thus my desire to share won't be stopped by my inability to express myself the way I want; and I'm on my way to more fluent-English-me! ;o)

Needless to say that I have to make dramatic changes in my Job & Career, Finances and Relationships. These pieces of the pie bring imbalance and are the main sources of stress for me right now.

A couple of years ago my partner and I immigrated to another country. My partner found the first job after 3 weeks of searching which is pretty amazing for barely arrived immigrants. I decided to study and get local qualification. I studied for a year and now it's time to move on. The thing is that my progress looks like a step forward and two steps back. That's why during 100 days my main focus will be on my career and job search: my needs related to this area, my inner beliefs and fears, my aspirations and inspirations.

Regarding the financial aspect of my life I'm in a very attractive position. My partner has provided me and my needs. I can buy healthy food as well as I can pamper myself in a beauty salon or buy a new dress or have lunch with a girlfriend. It looks fantastic from the outside! Lots of people would kill me to be on my place and to live my live... BUT… As they say "Money won't buy you happiness" and it's almost true. Almost, because money can buy us things which may make us happier (whether it’s a new dress or a trip around the world), but if we are in resistant relationships with money then there will be a lot of headache and hardly any satisfaction from what is happening because of money… and the probability of losing what we already have is extremely high. 100 days challenge is a great opportunity to learn to be grateful for the money and things I have and find inner peace and balanced relationships with money (even if they haven't been earned by me)… and yes, at the end of this 100-day journey I see myself more financially stable and independent, without self-blaming thoughts about my expenses. :o)

Poor relationships is a consequence of my inner conflicts related to my career and finances. I'm a bit victimizing myself and set my hopes on my partner and at the same time I find it difficult to ask for help and support I need. So during the following days of my Challenge I will be focusing on appreciation and I will be learning to express my feelings and needs. As a result of my efforts I see better understanding of my own feelings/needs, ability to express myself clearly to my partner with trust and confidence, and more intimate and caring relationships.

That's how I see my balanced Wheel Of Life after 100 Days:

How I'm gonna get there? I will think and write about it tomorrow ;o)

Balancing the Wheel of Life

2011-05-16T18:52:00.000+10:00

Recently I've been watching a video about Chi Running.

In this video two types of motion while running compared with two shapes - square and circle. If anyone wants to move object from one place to another, it is much easier to do if the object has a circular shape rather than angular. Since running is motion and as the round objects are much easier to move so the creators recommend to pay attention to their ideas and method.

But enough about running! :o)

While I was watching this video, an inspiring thought/quote came into my mind: "Life is motion!"

From past to the future through the present.

From childhood to death through maturation.

From misery to happiness through changes.

And often these changes are directly related to life. It's as if I was a sculptor and cut off all unnecessary pieces or add missing turning angular boulder into a balanced wheel - Wheel Of Life!

This analogy was so clear that I decided to use some kind of Wheel of Life which I found after some time of searching. The idea is simple:

I take dimensions of my life which are important to me.
I write down these dimensions down on the Wheel of Life diagram, one on each spoke of the life wheel.
Then I can do either way:
- - rate how happy I am about each of my spoke of the life wheel
- - rate how much time and attention I pay to each of my dimensions

Then I repeat the same process, but when it comes to rating I think about happy life, ideal situation, about the time I wish I pay to each of the spokes - balanced Wheel of Life. How do I want my Wheel of Life to look like? And it doesn't necessarily have to be ideal circle.

The thing is that harmony, balanced life, happiness and success mean different things to different people. Moreover, the definition of success changes overtime as I experience my life . Success for me ten years ago is not necessarily a success for me at the moment. As well as success for me now will change after some time, I am sure.

But in order to achieve success/happiness/balance/harmony in my present understanding I should have a clear idea of how my Wheel is balanced now, what needs to be balanced for further progress and how exactly I need to balance my Wheel to move forward.

So, I have pretty visual representation (which is important for me personally to better understand and move on) of how my life looks now and how I want it to look, so that tomorrow I will start insert spokes in my Wheel of Life. Day by day - spoke by spoke. :o)

Telling my story and like myself in the process of doing it

2011-05-16T02:07:00.003+10:00

It is said that imperfections are what make each of us unique.

We all heard it, we sometimes say it, but do I really believe in it? Is it really part of my soul? Is this belief lies deeply in my heart? Or it's just another intellectual conclusion which I wish would be fully embraced by me?

As the perfect part of me wants to do EVERYthing PERFECTLY or not do it at all, so another part of me is telling me that it's OK to make mistakes, to fall down, to be imperfect and do everything as I can again and again and again. As a perfectionist in me says I should get up and go straight immediately so another part of me comfortable with the fact that I need time to learn how to walk. Day and night I'm dancing with and between these two.

I-am-perfectionist would have been incredibly proud of myself if I post videos every day, but I won't. Because perfectionism is nothing but the protection and fear of being vulnerable, and an attempt to satisfy my inner parent and outer audience. I do not want to be protective anymore, I'm ready to be vulnerable and I want to satisfy myself at last...

It feels like this 100 (or 99 if to be precise) days will be about my choice between the pursuit of perfection and allowance myself to be me as I am.

I will post videos every 10 days:
23.05.2011
02.06.2011
12.06.2011
22.06.2011
02.07.2011
12.07.2011
22.07.2011
01.08.2011
11.08.2011
21.08.2011

Tomorrow I will start to explore my inner beliefs and needs. I will announce my goals and intentions in the next video (23.05.2011). In regards to the very process of self-discovery I will write every day.

That's more than enough. I am enough.

Wanna change? Make it FUN!!! :o)

2011-05-14T18:33:00.004+10:00

I’m SO glad that I’ve eventually dared to take this 100 Day Challenge!

But I prefer to call it 100 Day Journey, because

I do not like the word “challenge”. Yes, I am RESISTANT to the idea of challenging myself :o)
I see the whole process of creation more as a journey than as a challenge. Yes it can be challenging at times, but it is not a challenge in itself, it’s more like a path, like a journey, which I’m choosing or not choosing to follow.

So, yeah… This can be considered as my Day 1… and…

I DO NOT HAVE my intentions and goals yet! :o)

Why?

Because IT IS a part of my journey!

How come?

I’ve seen a lot of travellers and tourists on this path who set their goals and rules, but then for some reason or even no reasons turned back on half a way. And I did it a billion times before! And there is no need to say HOW does it feel like - disappointment, self-blame, desperation and all this feelings, emotions and thoughts which throw us down.

Why this happened to these people and to me?

My answer is that the foundation wasn’t set properly, I didn’t prepared for the journey properly, I didn’t evaluated myself before taking this path, I just took all Dissatisfaction, made a Plan and started following my Vision, but when it came to real challenges – I stood back.

Why?

Because there is always cost of change, if I may say so, "there is no victory without sacrifice". And sometimes cost of change is not just forth it. It has been scientifically approved! I'm not kidding! I've recently found the Formula for Change and oooohhhh how I wish it would be my idea or I would have found this formula much-much-much earlier!!!:o) So here is the Formula for Change:

D x V x F > R

Where:

D = Dissatisfaction with how things are now;

V = Vision of a positive possibility, more than the absence of pain in the present situation;

F = First ACTIONS that can be taken towards the vision;

R = Resistance to change, cost of change, sacrifices necessary for change to happen.

So, multiplied Dissatisfaction, Vision and First ACTIONS have to overcome Resistance for Change to take place and be long-lasting.

Let’s say, I want to lose weight! Great!

I’m not satisfied (D) with myself, I have a vision (V) of my healthier self and I even become a member in a gym, found a great nutritionist/health coach and met running buddy (F)! Fantastic!

And now it’s time for change to happen? Not necessarily!

Do I ready to prepare healthy meals instead of ordering take-aways; do I ready to sacrifice half an hour of sleep in order to exercise for 30 minutes in the morning? And so on, and so on, and so on…

If I’m Resistant and not ready to consistently pay the cost of change (R) I wish to make, the chances of me sabotaging myself are REALLY high!

That's why I decided to discover myself, my true desires and evaluate them, ask myself whether I am ready to sacrifice my comfort zone in any area of my life or at the moment my dissatisfaction is not so strong to form a clear positive vision of my better self and take action to pursue my dreams.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world!”

Wanna change? Make it FUN!

When it’s fun – I’m less resistant ;o)